Criminals Wanted

No doubt about it. In the 21st century piracy is reborn and growing into such a widespread problem that piracy has actually become a real threat to international trade. Today’s pirates are real, armed to the tits and they will rob you blind without thinking twice about it. They are greedy, desperate and willing to die for the chance at a ransom. On the other hand they have little interest in hurting you because fanatical ideologues they are not. In the rapidly growing world of maritime piracy today’s elite pirates come from Somalia. In Somalia piracy is an industry and a way of life. In this part of the world piracy is supporting the last ditch hopes of an impoverished people and they are making a real go of it.

Battling even an average pirate is no easy task. And Battling Somalia’s booming pirate industry is a task requiring the best international efforts. One of the obstacles working against those trying to bring this problem under control is that pirates lack a proper classification under international law. They are not war criminals so they should not traditionally be dealt with by a military presence. But no adequate civilian naval presence exists. Furthermore, if a criminal pirate gang is captured in international waters, who is responsible for prosecuting the offenders? Should the arresting nation be responsible? Should the nation where the attacked vessel is registered take charge? Or should the criminals be handed back to the country from which they came? These are all legal issues waiting to be resolved because at the moment no international treaty exists and no properly organized international force is in place to protect international trade routes. As a result piracy is now big business and maritime transport is in jeopardy.

So what is being done? As recently as 1992 there was no organization set up specifically to deal with piracy. But with threats steadily rising since the early 1970’s the International Maritime Bureau finally stepped in and created its IMB Piracy Reporting Centre. The problem is that the IMB is not a response service. The IMB is only a reporting service. And as useful a service as it may be to seafarers in the event of an attack the IMB is not going to help you. The best it can do is report the incident to an authority (which one is anyone’s guess) and hope for the best. But it is a step in the right direction.

Another organization  tied to battling the problem of Maritime Piracy is the Combined Task Force 150 which boasts an excellent name but is still woefully inadequate to tackle the scale of the current problem. If Task Force 150 was restricted to the waters off Somalia’s coast it is doubtful if even this response would be enough. The real problem exists on shore. In the specific sense the conditions of Somalia itself need to be addressed and a stable government put in place. In the general sense Forces like 150 need the legal authority and mandate to counter the problem effectively. Until an International agreement is in place with law and force behind it pirate attacks will to continue to rise.

Somalia’s pirate industry is born from the kind of human desperation that comes from government corruption and absolute poverty. A good old fashioned civil war helps as well. You basically need to create a condition of perfect human misery for a population of people living near the sea and chances are they will turn to piracy. If drug, diamond and slave trading are not an option piracy may be the perfect choice. Somalia has established these conditions better than anywhere else in the world and as result the Somali pirate industry is the Ipod of pirating. They do it better than anyone else.  In fact, they do it so well that Somalia’s pirate industry is no longer just a small gang of armed thugs in speed boats. In the 21st century Somalia’s pirates are well organized, well armed and well focused with an onshore support system and an entire population devoted to sustaining this network of criminal activity.

Now let’s look at some recent success stories. Recently Somali pirates hijacked the Sirius Star (pictured above), a Saudi oil tanker which measures out longer than an aircraft carrier. We’ve all heard the news. The hijacking went off without a hitch and at the time of writing the Star is anchored off the coast of Harardhere. Consider that it takes more than just a few thugs with machine guns to take control of such a vessel. In a case like this armed force is the smallest of logistical concerns. What is important is having a team in place that can pilot such a massive tanker without running aground. If you kill the Captain who is going to make this thing move? It takes organizational skills that go way beyond the abilities of armed thugs. This is the result of very well trained and well financed crime syndicate.

In another audacious example of Somalia’s pirate capabilities the Ukrainian ship MV Faina, holding 33 Russian-designed T-72 tanks, was hijacked. The vessel and its cargo are, at the time of writing, still in possession of the pirates despite a strong international military presence that is monitoring closely to make sure the weapons don’t fall into the wrong hands. And there are only the cases that were notorious enough to grab the attention of the international press. Imagine the thousands of smaller vessels hijacked on a daily basis. Pirates are not just after cargo ships. They will take down a pleasure craft too if they think the chance at a modest score is reasonable.

And yet the thing we need to consider is that pirates are not interested in old Soviet military hardware and they are certainly not interested in the oil aboard the Sirius Star. The pirates are after cash, loot and ransom and nothing else. They have no interest in harming captives and, in fact, rarely do. They have no misguided ideologies, no mission from god and don’t care if the world insults their sensibilities. They want cash and they want it now and as much of a nuisance as they are greed is something that we, in the Western world, would be hypocrites to pretend we don’t understand. All of this is what makes the industry profitable. In most cases ship owners are willing to pay a ransom to get the cargo back while the pirates are more than willing to do so if the ransom is paid. Add to the fact that news headlines are unable to include hostage killings and you start to understand why the industry of pirating has gone relatively unnoticed for so long.

If all this makes you think that pirating might be a good business to get into think again. Remember that these pirates come from some of the most desperate human populations on earth. You can be absolutely sure that for every man getting rich there are a few thousand underneath him taking the big risks and still only managing to scrape a meager living. Plus you don’t want to land yourself in a Somali prison. Because if you do happen to get captured pirating, there is a good chance you will land yourself in a place you really do not want to be. And the cold, hard facts of that reality, is that you would rather be blown up by whatever nation’s warship happened to be the one to intervene. A Somali prison is a death sentence for anyone reading this article.

But if the living quarters in the images above look like something you could survive for more than 30 seconds by all means go try your hand in Somalia’s thriving pirate industry. If you think you’re coming out alive, though, think again. There are dark places in this world that you don’t want to be a part of and you can bet that Somalia’s prison system is one of the darkest. Remember, if you are apprehended by ANY authority whatsoever during a pirate endeavor they can pretty much do whatever they like with you. There is no legal process set up for dealing with you and you essentially have no rights whatsoever. If you’re caught you’re rolling the dice with your life and that’s it. Pirating, particularly off the coast of Somalia is dangerous business.

Yet the danger is still not enough of a deterrent for the thousands upon thousand of people attempting to pirate worldwide. Where there are riches to be had and people desperate enough to go after them you can bet that they will. At the moment Somalia happens to be leading the charge and they are getting very good at what they do. Seizing a supertanker full of Saudi oil and getting away with it is no small feat and even James Bond would have trouble stealing a fleet of Russian T-72 tanks. It is also no small feat to stare down the barrel of a Task 150 Warship without flinching. It is a shame that diplomatic solutions are not a viable answer to such problems. Piracy is a crime and international as stipulated originally by Hugot Grotius allows for private navies to defend themselves for deeds that would cause a Canadian criminal background here at home but such acts go unpunished now.

In the 21^st century Somali pirates are a naval force to be reckoned with.

Remember the film The Shawshank Redemption, where bank executive Andy Dufresne is sentenced to life in prison for a crime he did not commit? The prospect is terrifying. Have you ever imagined what you would do if you were in Andy’s shoes? How would you cope when the world deals you one of the crappiest hands in the deck? Would you be able to survive in prison? Surely you’ve imagined this scenario many, many times. We would never consciously wish to be locked up with society’s most hardened and dangerous criminals, but after watching countless shows and movies about prisons we can’t help but wonder if we’d stand up for ourselves, earning respect while maintaining our manhood and our dignity, or if we’d submit and cower in the face of stronger predators, ending up as someone’s “punk” trading sexual favors for cigarettes, and ultimately getting a shiv to the kidneys in line at the prison cafeteria.

The following is a prison survival guide, with tips compiled from many a criminal who’ve done hard time and lived to tell the tale. Of course the goal in life is to never end up in prison, but mistakes can be made, crazy things do happen, and people often end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or who knows, maybe you’re reading this minutes before committing a highly organized armed robbery. In any case, these proven strategies will not only supply confidence to the imagined you in your prison survival fantasy, but they could also save your life should you God-forbiddingly end up behind bars.

Fight vs Flight

Paranoia is a quality of the living. You can count on someone getting in your face in the first few days. Don’t wander around naïvely believing that it won’t happen to you; you must assume that it will. Whether it’s stealing your food in the cafeteria or threatening you sexually in the showers, it’s always best to fight - as hard as you can. Do whatever it takes to protect yourself, even if that means killing them before they kill you. Once the other prisoners realize you are not afraid to smash someone’s face in, predators will move on to weaker more submissive targets, and you will have earned some respect.

Or, if you prefer the more pre-emptive approach, follow the advice of the Russian mob boss Nikolai from Spike Lee’s film 25th Hour, as he offers it to Monty before entering prison.

“When you get there, figure out who’s who. Find the man nobody’s protecting, a man without friends, and beat him until his eyes bleed. Let them think you are a little bit crazy, but respectful too. Respectful of the right men.”

If you don’t stand up for yourself in prison you will be victimized for your entire prison life!

How to avoid being attacked:

- Be on extra alert in areas where surveillance is minimal ie. corridors, showers, etc…
- Beware approaching inmates with hands behind their backs or in their pockets, they could be concealing a weapon.
- Never let yourself get backed into a corner with no escape route.
- When going to the bathroom, take your pants off completely. Attacking someone on the throne occurs often and it’s much harder to defend yourself with your pants around your ankles!

Keep a Squeaky Clean Credit Record

Unpaid debts are one of the surefire ways to end up with an uncoiled bed spring in your chest. The best way to avoid this is to NEVER take ANYTHING on CREDIT EVER. You will surely receive hundreds of offers for cigarettes, coffee, drugs, etc…and what most newcomers don’t realize is that once they accept an item on credit, they will often have to pay it back double! And how can you possibly comply when you didn’t have one in the first place? Stab, stab stab. If you smoked or did drugs before prison, quit. Simple as that. Never gamble, and never put yourself in anyone’s debt. Inmates have cruel and creative ways of making you pay.

Mind Your Associations

Race
No matter how much of a “I don’t see races, I only see people” type of person you are, a crucial tip for your survival in prison is to immediately show your allegiance to your own race. This does not mean that you must join a gang, and, eventually, you can make friends with anyone you want. But racial tension is high in prisons and you should seek out your own first. You need all the protection you can get, and if a gang of Mexicans are beating down a black man you can be sure no skinheads will step in to help out.
Gangs
Even if you were a member of a gang on the outside, avoid joining a gang on the inside. Gang leaders control the drugs, gambling, extortion, and they demand absolute loyalty from their members. If you join you may be ordered to do something that will keep you locked up a lot longer. Disobey your orders and you get killed. Quit the gang, and you get killed. So do yourself a favor and remain a free agent.

Prison staff
The golden rule to remember about associating with anyone working in the prison where you are held captive is simple: DON’T. No matter how friendly they appear to be, you must maintain the frame of mind that every prison official or staff member is your enemy. As one convicted felon noted “Every inmate whom I’ve seen develop any type of friendship with any prison employee was, in the end, betrayed and shunned by other prisoners.” It is infinitely more important to your survival to befriend your fellow inmates rather than a prison guard. Off the record, it’s not a bad idea to stay friends later.

Never trust prison officials

Punks
Never become someone’s punk (girlfriend), no matter how much protection you are offered in exchange. Anyone offering to “take you under their wing” is generally a booty bandit or a jailhouse pimp. You will be sexually used, abused, traded, sold, and possibly murdered if you sleep with the wrong inmate. Punks are often used to make someone jealous, and just like anyone wearing the red uniform on Star Trek, they get killed first.

Inmates
As alien as the prison world may seem there are universal methods of dealing with people which will help to keep the social waters calm. Always be respectful and polite to other prisoners, regardless of how weird they may act or dress. First, because you don’t know who or what they are, and second, because respect and personal dignity are the most valued possessions left to a prisoner.
Never tell another prisoner what to do or give anyone orders. Don’t tell the noisy ones in the law library to be quiet. Prisoners deeply resent being bossed around by another prisoner. Their likely response — even to a polite request — is, “What are you, a fuckin’ cop?”

Never stare at another prisoner for more than a second or two. He may be a walking powder keg, set off by an intrusive stare. He may either assault you on the spot or wait until darkness. Even if he doesn’t kill you outright, your face will never look the same again.

As you should in life, seek out those who maximize their time by dedicating themselves to self-improvement. They are few and are therefore easy to notice. Make positive associations with people who are taking full advantage of the prison’s educational and vocational opportunities. They are the best associates to have as they can teach you how to use the prison’s resources to better prepare you for life in the free world.

Keep Your Head

Survival is more than simply “staying alive”. If you walk out of prison with your vital organs intact but your spirit is crushed and your mental health destroyed, you should not consider yourself a “survivor”. Prison can ruin you mentally if you allow it. It is a degrading experience designed to humiliate you, break you down, leaving you in a soggy psychological heap of despair. Stay positive and never think of yourself as a loser - the entire system will try to convince you otherwise. Believe in yourself, trust that you will one day be free, that you can one day become a good father or mother or husband or wife, and that you will be a productive part of your community. Read positive books, hang out with positive people, take care of your most important survival tool: your mind!

And no matter how depressed or lonely you might feel never see the prison psychologist (remember the association rule #3). A prison shrink enjoys nothing more than transforming an inmate into a submissive zombie with tranquilizers and medication.

Physical Strength

Stay Clean

The first step towards maintaining your physical health is personal hygiene. Keep your bed, your cell, and yourself clean. Prisons can be very dirty places where insects, rodents, and even fellow inmates carry filth and disease. Watch what you touch and never drink or smoke after anyone.

Exercise
Take advantage of the prison’s gym and sport teams. Daily exercise will keep you in good condition and will help to relieve stress and depression. Study a martial art if possible and become as strong as you need to defend yourself from attackers. Stretch every day. Medical services in prison are notoriously bad so the healthier you stay the better.

Diet
Prison food is terrible. The only tip here is to try and eat less of it.

Your only true ally in prison is time. This is ironic because time is your punishment, but it can be your best friend because it will always be there. Whether you are sentenced to two months or twenty-five years, provided you follow these few simple survival tips, the time will pass and you will be that much older when you are released. The type of person you will be depends on how you spend your time. Will you waste away the years watching television or playing cards with your buddies? Or will you get yourself a college education? Will you let your negative surroundings dictate your mental and physical state or will you set goals and spend every day towards bettering yourself as a person? Prison is a terrible place which claims the lives of many who enter, even if they manage to “live” through the experience. But if you follow these tips, keeping your head up and your eyes open, being polite and respectful without ever becoming a snitch, remaining mindful of who you role with, staying out of dept, educating yourself while nourishing your body and spirit, you will survive.